What exactly is your personal brand? According to Arruda, it is “your unique promise of value.” If it were a puzzle, its pieces would include your goals, values, passions, differentiators, innate talents (or, as Arruda likes to call them, superpowers), and purpose. Follow Arruda's branding framework below to learn more, take control of your reputation, and harness the power of your personal brand.

First, it is crucial to understand that your personal brand is made up of two versions of you: the real world you and the digital you. That is, your presence in real life and your presence online. Although these versions of you are distinct from one another, they should ultimately depict the same person: the true, authentic you. Once you have a grasp on this idea, you can begin to “get clear on your brand,” or take control of your reputation. Arruda recommends that you enter the personal branding process with the mindset of unearthing your brand as opposed to creating it. This will not only help you uncover who you truly are and the factors that make you irreplaceable in the market, but it will prevent you from simply creating the brand that you think you should have.

To successfully unearth your unique personal brand, you will have to (1) deepen your understanding of self and (2) gather input from outside sources. To achieve step one, consider the “puzzle pieces” that we mentioned earlier: your goals, values, passions, differentiators, superpowers, and purpose. As Arruda calls them, these “6 drivers of your personal brand” are key to both understanding your brand and telling your story. See this series of short videos that he created to help you uncover these key drivers, as well as articulate them to others. To achieve step two, solicit feedback from family, friends, and co-workers with the goal of understanding how others perceive you. This step is especially important, because “your brand is held in the hearts and minds of those who know you.”

Once you have taken these steps to unearth your brand, it is time to translate the real you into the “bits-and-bytes version of you.” In other words, it is time to take your personal brand virtual. Start by assessing your current online presence. Arruda suggests that you Google yourself (and do so often!) to evaluate whether the search results depict the real you. If they do, continue portraying your authentic self through the screen and building your brand influence. If they don’t, it’s time to reevaluate, fine-tune your profiles, and start producing content that aligns the digital you with the real world you. For those with a digital reputation that is less than glowing, Arruda offers the following ways to improve your digital identity:

• Put your name into a major search engine and flag any unflattering content. Consider where your efforts are most needed and separate the content into what you (and your future career) can tolerate vs. what you cannot
• Untag yourself from posts and media that do not align with your brand or goals and check your settings to prevent unwanted tagging in the future
• Consider making certain posts and accounts private, especially if you intend to use them for personal purposes
• Produce newer, more on-brand content to push old, unattractive content to later pages of the search results (Arruda calls this “burying the dirt”)

For more personal and digital branding tips from Arruda, follow him on LinkedIn or Twitter, browse his column in Forbes, or watch some (or all!) of the CareerBlast videos that he created alongside executive coach Ora Shtull. You can also pick up a copy of his latest book, Digital YOU: Real Personal Branding in the Virtual Age.

Arruda advises every professional to be on LinkedIn. When used effectively, this large (and growing) professional network is a great place to connect with others, an opportunity-hub, and “the most powerful tool to influence your online brand.”

As you build or refine your LinkedIn profile, Arruda recommends that you pay special attention to three particular sections: your Headshot, Headline, and About. These sections are the most important to your profile because they give you the greatest opportunity to make a strong and authentic digital first impression. For Arruda's tips on using each section effectively, see his more detailed advice below.

Headshot

When someone views your LinkedIn profile, your headshot has the power to “make you real.” This is especially true when that someone has never met you in person. Use the checklist below to guarantee that your headshot sparks an emotional connection and makes the ultimate first impression. Arruda suggests using a headshot photo that:

• Is professional
• Is compelling
• Fills “60-80 percent of the frame” with your face
• Appears as though you are making eye contact with anyone viewing your profile (face forward!)
• Portrays you and you only (no other people in your headshot!)
• Includes the “universal welcome symbol” – a smile!

Headline

The Headline is a 120-character opportunity to hook your viewers and invite them to learn more about you and your career. According to Arruda, you are unlikely to achieve this by simply stating your title and company. While your title and company convey important information about you and your brand, you need something more, something that tells other people you are interesting. Try including “how you do what you do or the results you achieve when you do it.”

About

What you include in the About section of your profile can make or break your digital first impression. Whether you are creating a LinkedIn profile from scratch or revamping the one you already have, here are some of Arruda's dos and don’ts when it comes to crafting this important section.

Do:

• Be mindful and selective of what you include in the first three lines of the About section. LinkedIn does not explicitly tell you this, but someone viewing your profile only sees beyond the first three lines if they click “…see more” in the bottom corner. Therefore, it is of upmost importance that you “create excitement with those first three lines”
• Write a summary with enough detail and specificity so that it can only apply to you
• Demonstrate that you are “credible and likable”
• Include:
  • Your passions
  • Your values
  • Your skills, talents, differentiators, and interests
  • Your accomplishments, degrees, and achievements
  • Whatever it is that makes you compelling

Don’t:

• Skip the About section
• Copy and paste the information from your headline (this is a waste of space and opportunity)
• Write a summary that someone else in your position can copy and paste as their own. If your summary can apply to anyone other than you, then it’s too generic and probably boring

After you’ve crafted your Headshot, Headline, and About sections, you’re ready to check out the other features that LinkedIn has to offer. Have fun as you expand your network, one connection at a time!

When it comes to using social media effectively, some people would advise you to have and maintain a presence on every possible platform. William Arruda, however, is not one of those people. Instead, he recommends being selective and mindful about the platforms you’re on in order to avoid burning yourself out. When selecting the social media platforms that are right for you and your brand, consider whether each platform:

• Is used (and used often) by your target audience
• Provides the means for you to interact with your target audience
• Is a “tool you’ll enjoy using” (if you enjoy using the platform, you are more likely to maintain your presence on it and engage with your target audience)

Irrespective of which platforms you choose, Arruda has some universal advice for those looking to increase their brand influence via social media. First, ask yourself the following question whenever you post: “Will this be valuable to my target audience?” If you cannot answer this question in the affirmative, rethink and rework your post. Second, use hashtags, and be considerate of the hashtags you use. According to Arruda, the right hashtags have the power to “put you on the radar of people who are interested in what you have to offer.”

Vulnerability is sometimes perceived as weakness, or something to be ashamed of. In Brown’s eyes, however, vulnerability is not weakness. Rather, vulnerability “is having the courage to show up when you can’t control the outcome.” It is key to meaningful human experiences, and it is at the center of daring greatly.

A note about the origin of “daring greatly”:

The phrase “daring greatly” can be traced back to “Citizenship in a Republic,” a speech given by Theodore Roosevelt in 1910. In this speech, he says:

“It is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out how the strong man stumbled or how the doer of deeds might have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred with sweat and dust and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs and comes short again and again; who knows the great enthusiasms, the great devotions, and spends himself in a worthy cause; who, if he wins, knows the triumph of high achievement; and who, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly….”

In Brown’s take on this idea, daring greatly begins with a choice, and that choice is up to you. Your options? Comfort or courage.

When you choose comfort, you choose to live outside the arena. You run from vulnerability, and inevitably, vulnerability catches up. When this happens, you likely feel exposed and uncomfortable, so you (knowingly or unknowingly) numb the difficult emotions that vulnerability brings to the surface. The problem with this approach? As humans, we don’t have the power to numb our emotions on a selective basis. In other words, when you numb your capacity to feel one emotion, you numb your capacity to feel at all. Because of this, Brown proposes an alternative approach to vulnerability – an approach that starts with choosing “courage over comfort.”

When you choose courage, you choose to live in the arena. You embrace and engage with vulnerability, and you find comfort in the discomfort by leaning into difficult conversations, listening, and learning. You “love with [your] whole heart,” despite the fact that doing so means you’re also risking heartbreak. You’re willing to take chances and make mistakes, because your sense of worthiness does not depend on being perfect. Rather, it depends on your sheer belief that, in spite of (and because of) your imperfections, you are worthy of love, connection, and true belonging. In Brown’s perspective, this is daring greatly.

For more on this idea and Brown’s perspectives, see her first book on courage and vulnerability, Daring Greatly. Her second TED Talk, “Listening To Shame,” also addresses these important topics.

Brown has studied the future of leadership for more than ten years, and according to her research, there is an industry-wide call for a different form of leadership: daring leadership. From Pixar to IBM, people want “braver leaders and more courageous cultures.” So, she’s answering the call.

To foster a generation of more daring leaders, Brown codifies brave leadership into four teachable, observable skills: “Rumbling with Vulnerability, Living into our Values, Braving Trust, and Learning to Rise.” For a better understanding of what these skills look like in practice, review the traits and behaviors of daring (and less daring) leaders below.

Source: Brené Brown’s Daring to Lead

As human beings, we are neurobiologically hard-wired for connection, which Brown defines as “the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued; when they can give and receive without judgment; and when they derive sustenance and strength from the relationship.” As a result, connection holds significant power in our lives. To better understand this power, consider life with and without connection.

When we feel connected, our lives have purpose and meaning. We feel a sense of true belonging, and we can “be present with people without sacrificing who we are.” When we feel disconnected, however, our lives are dictated by shame and fear. We feel unworthy of true belonging, and we suffer in silence. To break free from this silence and (re)connect with ourselves and others in more meaningful ways, Brown recommends broadening our emotional vocabularies, reflecting on why people disconnect in the first place, and strengthening internal connection before focusing on external connection.

Broadening your emotional vocabulary is the first step toward more meaningful connection, because our ability to connect over what we’re feeling relies on our ability to express what we’re feeling. For a better understanding of the vastness that is human emotion, consider starting with Brown’s latest book, Atlas of the Heart. In this map to more meaningful connection, she provides a common understanding of 87 human emotions in order to help you express yourself, as well as understand the experiences of others.

To connect with yourself and others in more meaningful ways, it is also important to understand what’s behind the human tendency to disconnect. The answer? Fear. Whether it’s the fear of vulnerability, the fear of failure, or the fear of not being enough, fear is “the one core variable that magnifies our compulsion to sort ourselves into factions while at the same time cutting ourselves off from real connection with other people.” Thus, the secret to more meaningful connection lies in overcoming the fears that hold us back.

While fear thwarts us from connecting in more meaningful ways, vulnerability does the opposite. Essentially, meaningful connection with others cannot happen until we are seen, and we cannot be seen until we have the courage to be vulnerable. According to Brown, finding this courage starts with internal connection. As she describes, internal connection is like an anchor that reminds us of who we are, and it strengthens our belief that we’re worthy of love and belonging. As we learn to love ourselves for who we are (imperfections and all), we realize and eventually believe that these imperfections make us human, thereby connecting us to all of humanity. Ultimately, this belief and the sense of worthiness that it creates allow us to put ourselves out there, in places where external connection can blossom.

Whether you realize it or not, you have a personal brand – everyone does. To put it simply, your personal brand is your reputation. It is not what you hope it is, say it is, or wish it were. Instead, your personal brand is “what other people say it is.” How do they speak about you when you’re not around? What meaning do they make of your actions? According to Clark, these types of questions are key to closing the gap between how you are currently viewed and how you would like to be viewed. To close this gap is to take control of your personal brand, and with Clark's reinvention framework, you can do so in three simple steps:

• Figure out how others perceive you (What is your current personal brand?)
• Create your brand narrative (What do you want others to know you for?)
• Live your brand (What can you do to share your unique and authentic message?)

For Clark's expert advice on tackling each phase of the reinvention process, read on!

Phase 1: Figure Out How Others Perceive You

When defining your personal brand or reinventing yourself, the most logical place to start is with your current brand. To understand your current brand, you must understand how you are perceived by others. As an initial step, Clark recommends searching your name on Google. Make a conscious effort to view the results from an objective lens and consider what someone might think of you if the only information they knew was the information contained in the search results. After all, to those who don’t know you, “you’re your Google search.”

The exercise described above is a great jumping-off point if you’re interested in learning more about your current personal brand, but at the end of the day, “it takes a village to reinvent yourself.” To change your reputation, you must be willing to ask for feedback and, more importantly, to learn from it. For this reason, Clark advises her clients to conduct personal 360-degree interviews. The goal of such an interview is to gain a holistic picture of what it’s like to work with you, work for you, or simply be around you. To conduct an effective personal 360-degree interview:

• Make a list of people whom you trust to be honest and helpful. This may include your boss, peers, employees, team members, clients, family, and/or friends (if you can, include men and women from various fields in order to help you assemble the most holistic picture)
• Ask them questions to enhance your self-knowledge (i.e., questions about YOU). Examples of good questions to ask include:
  • If you had to describe me in three words, what words would you choose?
  • What are my strengths?
  • What are my weaknesses?
  • What steps would you suggest that I take to get from point A to point B?
  • What are my blind spots?
  • If you didn’t know what job I have, what job would you guess I have and why?
• Analyze the feedback. Pay attention to “what [people] say, and also what they don’t say” and look for patterns. Although it can be easy to obsess over a single comment, try to focus on the comments that were made consistently – these are where the most valuable answers lie

Phase 2: Create Your Brand Narrative

Once you better understand your current personal brand, it’s time to ask yourself if the way that you’re currently perceived is the way you’d like to be perceived in the future. Since effective personal branding hinges on having a clear core message, this means you’ll have to get clear on the message that you want to send. To determine your core message and, in turn, create a vision for your brand, Clark recommends reflecting on (1) your difference and (2) your “war stories.”

If Clark had her own dictionary, she might define “your difference” as the experience or skill that sets you apart from others, the thing employers are most interested in, or a form of career insurance. Ultimately, your difference is what matters in the workplace because our world does not reward fitting in as much as it rewards standing out. For this reason, do not let your identity be a source of fear or concern. Instead, let it excite you, because the thing that sets you apart naturally empowers you to “add the most value” to teams, projects, and organizations.

Like your difference, your “war stories” can also help you “get clear on your brand.” According to Clark, war stories are the stories that you often find yourself coming back to. They are meaningful experiences, and they are memories that remain vivid years after you make them. As you recall these stories and memories, pay special attention to the “thread that connects them.” This thread is an indication of how you derive meaning in your life, or what you find meaningful and why, and it is vital to shaping your core message/creating your brand narrative.

Phase 3: Live Your Brand

Your personal brand can set you up for long-term success, but only if you live your brand on a consistent basis. To live your brand, (1) consider small ways to share your message with others and (2) put yourself in a position to recognize and capitalize on opportunities as they present themselves. Over the years, Clark has seen countless professionals miss the same opportunity time and again. This “perennial missed opportunity” is the one that stands before you when someone asks, “How’s it going?” or “What’s new with you?” When someone asks you a question like this, they have essentially given you an opportunity to “implant your brand” in their mind, and Clark would encourage you to take it. Instead of responding with a mere “I’m fine” or “Nothing new,” make sure your answer incorporates your career narrative, or what you want people to know you for. After all, today’s professionals are pulled in more directions than ever before, so it is imperative that you take primary responsibility for guiding how others see you.

Any professional knows that networking can be (and often is) intimidating. We all want to make connections, but we all fear seeming or feeling like a user. If this predicament sounds all too familiar to you, Clark's networking advice can help you reframe the networking process, turn interactions into opportunities, and make authentic connections like a pro.

First, don’t network to gain something; network to gain friends. While career advancement is a goal that many of us have, this should never be your sole reason for reaching out to someone. If it is, they will more than likely sense it, and the relationship you could have developed will vanish before it even begins.

Second, be yourself. Authenticity is powerful, especially in the world of networking. As you expand your network, Clark encourages you to be confident in your uniqueness, show that you are human, and remind yourself that everyone else is human too. Additionally, follow these tips to make connecting more authentic.

• Figure out what you have to offer, and don’t be ashamed to self-promote
• Join fewer groups and dive deeper within them. This will produce more genuine connections than joining too many groups and merely involving yourself at a surface level
• If you are introducing colleagues, make sure you speak with them separately beforehand. If you don’t, you may end up caught between two frustrated parties and harm your own relationships
• No asks for a year. Clark's rule of thumb is to avoid asking someone for a favor until you have developed a genuine connection/friendship. After all, it is crucial that people feel as though helping you was their idea; not something they were coerced into doing

Third, do networking your way. Before you dive into expanding your network, consider:

• What types of events you may enjoy (and what types of events you may not)
• Whether the people at an event are people whom you would enjoy meeting, talking to, and learning from
• Whether the timing of an event is optimal for you and where you are in your career
• Creating your own events (This can make for a more comfortable and authentic experience for some, because having more control over the place, time, guest list, etc. gives you a better idea of what to expect)

Fourth, research the people you’d like to connect with before you reach out to them. By searching for commonalities and mentioning them when you reach out, you will show the other person that you genuinely care about the relationship. This will also help you make a more authentic connection right off the bat.

Fifth, follow up. According to Clark's research, this is where most people fall short in the networking process. Often times, these people fall short because they focus so much attention on the initial connection that they forget to nurture the relationship in the future. To combat this pitfall, Clark suggests setting a schedule and sticking to it. Decide how often you want to reach out to various people in your circle and do your best to stay in touch. This will help you deepen your relationships and develop connections that last in the long-term. (Note: The frequency of reaching out may change or vary from person to person as your career shifts and your relationships evolve. According to Clark, this is perfectly fine, but letting your connections fade is not!)

Sixth, don’t give up on connecting with powerful people merely because they may seem out of reach. Clark can assure you that there is no such thing, and she suggests you do the following to get noticed by influential figures:

• Start a blog or podcast where you can interview others, connect, and create content. This is an opportunity to gather advice, and it gives others a platform to share their ideas
• Interact with the posts of influential figures on a consistent basis (i.e., retweet them, comment on their posts, and/or mention them in your own)
• Brainstorm ways that you could be of value to them
• Stand out by making yourself interesting (compelling people like to meet other compelling people!)

Social media can be a powerful tool for sharing your ideas and moving the discourse forward. That is, if you use it effectively. When it comes to using social media, Clark has gathered the following advice from “social media power users” in order to help you understand what to do and what not to do if you want to develop valuable connections and have your ideas heard.

Do:

• “Be consistent” – Building a following is difficult, but it becomes much more attainable if people have a general idea of when you will upload content. Schedule your postings and stick to your schedule (from social media power user, Jay Baer)
• “Be responsive” – Interacting with your audience is just as important as creating and sharing content, as interaction will deepen your connections, expand your following, and help you tailor future posts (from social media power user, Chris Brogan)
• Be mindful when you decide who to follow – Seek out the voices you want to learn from and listen to (from social media power user, Vala Afshar)
• Have conversations. It is important to remember that “social media should be a conversation, not a monologue” (from social media power user, Marsha Collier)
• Hit send – Every post would be perfect in an ideal world, but this is not the world we live in. Even if your post doesn’t seem perfect, post it, because doing nothing on social media is the biggest missed opportunity of all (from social media power user, Jay Baer)

Don’t:

• “Chase numbers” – Following everyone in sight just to see how many follow back will read as inauthentic and make it difficult to separate the voices you want to listen to from the ones you don’t (from social media power user, Marsha Collier)
• “Be a perfectionist” – No post will be perfect, so if you wait to share until one is, you might never post at all (from social media power user, Jay Baer)

Duckworth's philosophy centers on the idea that grit, which she defines as passion and perseverance for long-term goals, is a crucial predictor of success. She argues that individuals who possess high levels of grit are more likely to achieve their goals and excel in their pursuits, regardless of their initial talent or intelligence.

Grit involves the ability to persevere in the face of adversity and setbacks. Duckworth encourages individuals to view challenges as opportunities for growth and learning. Rather than giving up when things get tough, she believes the key is in practicing resilience and working hard. Establishing daily rituals and habits is also important to support long-term goals. She believes that consistency in effort, even on a small scale, can contribute significantly to building grit over time.

Duckworth emphasizes the importance of discovering what we are truly passionate about. This involves exploring different interests and reflecting on what excites and motivates us. Grit is more likely to develop when we are pursuing goals that align with our passions and values. Once we have identified our passions, she advocates that we set clear and challenging long-term goals related to it. These goals should be meaningful and have a purpose that resonates with us. Grit is often about persevering through obstacles to achieve these goals.

Duckworth firmly believes that effective education should center on cultivating character strengths, including grit, which is just as important as developing academic skills. She believes that educators should focus not only on teaching content but also on fostering qualities like resilience, self-control, and a growth mindset in students. Duckworth's research suggests that character development can significantly impact students' long-term success, and she advocates for educational practices that prioritize character growth alongside academic achievement.

Duckworth deeply believes in the Hard Thing Rule, a rule that she enforces in her family. This practice means that each family member must choose a hard thing (a challenging pursuit) and commit to it. This practice is intended to push us outside our comfort zones.

1. Everyone (including parents) must do a hard thing that requires deliberate practice.
2. You can quit, but only until the season, semester, tuition payment, etc. is up. That is, only when a natural stopping point has arrived. You cannot quit on the day a teacher yells at you, when you lose a race, or before the recital.
3. You get to pick your hard thing. The idea is to foster interest.
4. When your kids are in high school, the commitment to the hard thing must be for at least two years.

In life, we often have no control over the triggers that we encounter. Start choosing how you respond to triggers and reclaim control of your behavior with a bit of help from Goldsmith!

Take a moment to envision the version of yourself that you want to be. What habits does this version of you have? How do they react during moments of uncertainty or frustration? Do they eat healthy and workout often? How do their words, actions, and reactions make other people feel? Are they optimistic or pessimistic? How do they choose to spend their time?

Right now, you’re probably imagining someone with a positive outlook; someone who lives in the moment, spends their time wisely, and maintains genuine relationships with family and friends; a version of you that is happy, healthy, kind, respectful, and respectable. While it would be nice to be this version of yourself 100% of the time, odds are that you’re not. Why? According to Marshall Goldsmith, the answer is simple: triggers.

A trigger is “any stimulus that impacts [your] behavior.” Common triggers include thoughts, events, and people. As Goldsmith describes, “A trigger will always produce an impulse, and that impulse will lead to a behavior. If we can do something different, we can change the cycle.” To change the cycle, or change your behavior, you must be aware of the simple choice before you when faced with a trigger. You can either (1) act on impulse and let your behavior be driven by your environment or (2) acknowledge your impulse, take a deep breath, and let the person you want to be decide how to respond. Hint: Goldsmith recommends the latter!

An Exercise for Charting Your Triggers

If you have a specific behavioral goal in mind, Goldsmith recommends that you chart any triggers

“that influence the quality of your performance/progress towards [this] goal.” By classifying your triggers based on the six distinctions below, you can more effectively understand, anticipate, and respond to them. This being said, a trigger can be:

• “Direct or indirect”
  • Direct – produces an immediate response
  • Indirect – “takes a roundabout route to influence [your] behavior” (i.e., you see a commercial of a family on vacation, think of the vacation you are planning, and remember to buy your plane tickets)
• “Internal or external”
  • Internal – comes from within (i.e., your thoughts and feelings)
  • External – drawn from the external environment via the five senses
• “Conscious or unconscious”
  • Conscious – “requires awareness” to invoke a behavior
  • Unconscious – “beyond [your] awareness,” but influences your behavior nonetheless
• “Anticipated or unexpected”
  • Anticipated – you understand where and when this trigger may present itself and can prepare yourself for it as a result
  • Unexpected – you are surprised or caught off guard by this trigger (this is typically displayed in your behavior)
• “Encouraging or discouraging”
  • Encouraging – positive reinforcer that pushes you to continue on the path you’re on
  • Discouraging – happenings that urge you to cease whatever you’re doing
• “Productive or counterproductive”
  • Productive – “push [you] toward becoming the person [you] want to be”
  • Counterproductive – “pull [you] away from” becoming the person [you] want to be

During Goldsmith's time in the executive coaching industry, he’s learned that effective leadership is a relationship between a leader and their colleagues. The same is true for leadership development.

Leadership development, or “any initiative that makes people better leaders within their business, nonprofit organization, community, or personal life,” is a process. It takes time, and more importantly, it takes continual contact between a leader and their colleagues. When both parties are involved in leadership development, leaders naturally increase their effectiveness, colleagues perceive them as “people who care,” and long-term behavioral change is more attainable within their organizations. Because of this, Goldsmith and his colleague Howard Morgan have come to classify leadership development as “a contact sport.”

To grow as a leader (and develop authentic relationships within your organization), Goldsmith recommends discussing improvement priorities with your colleagues and following up. This can be as simple as asking for input, interacting on a regular basis, and checking in to “see if progress is being made.” For more detailed advice on how to follow up and, in turn, become a more effective leader, follow Goldsmith's feedback framework below. This behavioral change model is key to building more effective leaders and stronger organizations, because it teaches leaders how to effectively “reach out to co-workers, to listen and learn, and to focus on continuous development.”

Goldsmith's Behavioral Change Model for Leadership Development

Ask

Soliciting feedback is key to a leader’s success, and Goldsmith has one simple question to help you solicit feedback the right way. That question is, “How can I be a better ___?” Whether you are asking how to be a better leader, facilitator, advocate, or supporter, this question is helpful in revealing your opportunities for growth. In other words, the answers you receive can help you to understand “where [you] are, where [you] need to go, and to measure [your] progress along the way.”

Listen

If you receive feedback and immediately feel the urge to express your opinion about it, it’s time to rethink your reaction! Instead of speaking before you think, practice being an active listener when you ask for feedback. An active listener “listen[s] with respect.” To be more specific, they make eye contact, remain aware of their body language, ask questions, and stay engaged without interrupting. By making a conscious and continuous effort to be an active listener, you will take small steps toward better interpersonal encounters. Not to mention, you’ll avoid being perceived as someone who (1) is in denial or (2) makes excuses for their behavior.

Think

After listening, you must respond, but before you do this, Goldsmith reminds you to think. After all, “what [you] say is proof of how well [you’ve] listened.” To accurately demonstrate how well you’ve listened to the feedback you’ve received, consider both what you will say and how you will say it. Take a moment to breathe and think. These tips from Goldsmith will help you avoid common pitfalls when responding to feedback, such as speaking with anger or “trying to prove how smart [you] are.”

Thank

Next, show your appreciation! When you receive feedback, your response should always be positive and include a “thank you.” By showing your appreciation, you’re less likely to come off as arrogant or defensive and more likely to find the true value in what others are sharing with you. To help his clients model this behavior, Goldsmith asks them to compare receiving feedback to receiving a gift. When you receive a gift, (hopefully) your initial reaction is to thank whoever gave it to you. Practice mirroring this behavior when you receive feedback, suggestions, or ideas from co-workers, and you’re sure to become a more effective leader.

Respond and Involve

Overall, your response should be “positive, simple, focused, [and] fast.” Instead of promising “to do everything people suggest” you do in the future, you should simply promise to listen, consider every suggestion, and “do what you can.” These latter promises are favorable because they can be kept, and they will make stakeholders (whom you have involved in the leadership development process) feel as though their responses are heard and valued.

Change and Follow Up

As a leader, you’ve more than likely learned that change is not easy. However, change is possible with time, effort, dedication, and consistency. To change yourself, your team, and/or your organization for the better, “the best time to start is now.” Consider what changes you are willing and able to make in the present and make a conscious and continuous effort to follow up with your co-workers, or stakeholders. In the words of Goldsmith, “that’s more than enough. For now.”

At some point during the pandemic, Grant noticed that he lacked motivation. He felt no sense of progress, and he struggled to find purpose. Before long, this feeling became as perpetual as the pandemic itself, and despite studying motivation for years, Grant struggled to break free from it. So, as any organizational psychologist would, he looked for an explanation. Ultimately, Grant discovered that he was languishing.

Languishing is a general sense of “meh” that dampens your motivation, drains your energy, and clouds your thoughts. When you experience it, you don’t feel your worst, but you also don’t feel your best. Rather, you are stuck somewhere in between these two extremes. You are struggling under the surface, losing interest in activities that used to excite you, and waiting for something to look forward to. In Grant's perspective, understanding these common symptoms of languishing is the first step toward “lighting a path out of the void.” The second is finding your flow.

Coined by psychologist Mihály Csíkszentmihályi, flow is experienced when you’re actively engaged and totally immersed in a meaningful activity, and research says that it’s essential to wellbeing and motivation. So, Grant developed a theory to help more people find it. According to his theory, peak flow is achieved when you experience moments of “mastery and mindfulness with the people who matter to you.”

Mastery

Mastery is rarely (if ever) achieved in one day. And that’s okay. To find your flow, simply focus on making progress. Consider working on a project that interests you, focusing on a meaningful goal, or practicing a new skill. No matter how big or small, a sense of progress is “the strongest factor in daily motivation and joy.”

Mindfulness

Moments of mindfulness are critical to your wellbeing and productivity, and moments of mindfulness begin with focus. To increase and/or rediscover your focus, Grant recommends (1) concentrating on one task at a time and (2) defining clear boundaries. By adding “uninterrupted blocks of time” to your schedule, you create opportunities to find flow.

Mattering

To Grant, mattering is making a difference in the lives of others, and it is an essential condition of flow. But no pressure – the difference that you make doesn’t have to be monumental. To find flow, mattering can be as simple as spending your time in a meaningful way and sharing it with people who matter to you.

With Grant's theory in mind, anyone can reclaim their motivation and get back to living their life. So, the next time you feel yourself languishing, seek out activities that provide you with a sense of mastery, mindfulness, and mattering. These activities are essential to your success, because with your active participation, they make it possible to find flow.

Originals are innovators, non-conformists, and creative thinkers “who not only have new ideas, but take action to champion them.” They stand out among the crowd, and they especially stand out to Adam Grant. Fascinated by originals, he often studies their behavior, and in doing so he’s developed “six secrets to true originality.” Below, we share these secrets. Whether you want to become more like an original or build a culture of originality in your organization, your next steps await!

Secret 1: “Have lots of ideas, not just a few big ones”

To become more like an original:

• Generate new ideas on a frequent and regular basis. The more ideas that you have, the less obvious and more original they are bound to become. In fact, research suggests “that quality often doesn’t max out until more than 200 ideas are on the table.”
• Look at failure as a building block, and don’t let it stop you from going back to the drawing board. Originals are “the ones who fail the most, because they’re the ones who try the most!”
• Differentiate self-doubt from idea-doubt. While self-doubt can be damaging to the creative process, idea-doubt can be energizing and motivating because it encourages you to revisit, rework, and rethink your ideas.

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Encourage people to think differently. If “everyone thinks in similar ways and sticks to dominant norms, businesses are doomed to stagnate.”
• Create opportunities and incentives for employees to innovate.
• To “help employees generate quantity and variety without sacrificing day-to-day productivity or causing burnout,” put your team in an offensive mindset. Encourage them to think about how your organization can improve as opposed to how it can keep up or maintain the status quo.

Secret 2: “Judge ideas in a creative mind-set”

To become more like an original:

• Avoid comparing your new ideas to similar ideas that have come before them.
• Share and discuss your new ideas with trusted peers. In this context, peers are often the greatest judges because they “have the distance that we don’t have from our own ideas, but, unlike managers, they also tend to be open to novel possibilities because they’re in a creative mindset.”

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Brainstorm on your own before you receive or evaluate the ideas of others. Research says that you are able to judge ideas more creatively when your mind is already engaged in the creative process.

Secret 3: “Don’t assume it’s a young person’s game”

To become more like an original:

• Remember, “you don’t have to be first; you just have to be different and better.”
• View your experience as both an asset and a liability to maximize its positive impact.
• If you’ve gained experience in multiple domains, increase the depth and breadth of your ideas by “importing and exporting ideas from one place to another.”

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Seek out and listen to ideas from everyone in your organization, regardless of their age. Individuals structure the creative process differently, and you never know when someone’s most original ideas will surface.

Secret 4: “Avoid groupthink (in a real way)”

To become more like an original:

• Share your original ideas and creative solutions, even if you think others will disagree. At the end of the day, originals regret their inactions more than they regret their actions, and they don’t fear sharing their “bad” ideas.
• Take the “initiative to doubt the default and look for a better option,” even when this is neither asked nor expected of you.

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Provide a non-group setting where people feel free and comfortable to voice new ideas. Original ideas are usually more “out there” than others, so people are more likely to share them if they can do it without risking embarrassment, judgment, or pressure to conform.
• Seek out individuals who hold different views than the majority. Invite these individuals to join the larger conversation to diversify thought and unearth new perspectives.
• Rethink dissent and paint it in a new, more positive light. If people within your organization feel comfortable challenging the status quo, you are more likely to uncover opportunities for organizational change.

Secret 5: “Learn how to procrastinate wisely”

To become more like an original:

• Periodically step away from tasks and projects, even if procrastination is not in your nature. When your ideas have time to incubate, you’re more likely “to see unexpected connections between,” as well as generate new ones.
• Look for good ideas that you can improve upon. According to Grant, this is much easier “than it is to create something new from scratch.”

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Be mindful when you delegate and set deadlines. When you give people time to step back and reflect, you create space for them to generate innovative, original ideas.
• Create ample opportunities for people to reflect, and encourage this practice.

Secret 6: “Follow the evidence”

To become more like an original:

• Study and learn from others’ experiences.
• Reflect on and learn from your own experiences.

To build a culture of originality in your organization:

• Prioritize evidence over intuition, especially when you make decisions about people.
• Find out “who your best decision makers are when it comes to hiring.” While some hiring managers play it too safe and others take unreasonable risks, the best decision makers fall somewhere in between.

Generosity: What it is, what it’s not, and how to thoughtfully contribute at work

In Grant's perspective, generosity is the key to both a better world and better workplace. It is critical to personal fulfillment, and it is the secret to organizational success. Surprisingly, it can be just as dangerous as it is powerful.

When generosity goes unchecked, it can quickly turn into self-sacrifice, thereby accelerating your path to burnout and jeopardizing your performance. To avoid these dangers of giving, Grant proposes that you must be more mindful about both when and how you contribute at work. The key to “sharing your time, energy, knowledge, skills, ideas, and connections” without sacrificing your own energy and productivity is developing a more nuanced understanding of generosity. To start, consider the difference between healthy and unhealthy giving.

Healthy giving is sustainable giving. It looks like setting boundaries, negotiating the requests of others so that they align with your capacity to help, prioritizing your responsibilities, and knowing when to say “no.” It fosters healthy relationships, leads to personal fulfillment, and makes work meaningful.

Unhealthy giving looks like interrupting your own progress to help others, neglecting your responsibilities, and taking on favors that you can’t afford. It creates one-sided relationships, leads to burnout, and makes work exhausting.

With this new perspective on giving, Grant hopes to shed light on what generosity really is. Ironically, sometimes “being less selfless actually allows you to give more.”

Generosity: Why creating a “giver-culture” is the key to organizational success

In any recipe for organizational success, givers are the critical ingredient.

Givers are the people who help, mentor, and support others without expecting anything in return, and according to Grant, they are the most valuable employees in any organization. Their generous acts are “predictive of higher unit profitability, productivity, efficiency, and customer satisfaction,” and they are the top performers across a variety of success metrics. Unfortunately, without thoughtful leadership, their giving tendencies often come at a cost.

All too often, generosity is thwarted by norms, values, and structures that are not conducive to helping. Performance reviews based on individual performance discourage givers from sharing their knowledge, and takers end up being rewarded for their self-serving behavior. As long as these norms are perpetuated by leadership, givers will continue to go unnoticed, and their potential will continue to go untapped. To break this cycle and create a culture where generosity is “more effective than selfishness,” adopt the giver-friendly practices below.

1. Make help-seeking the norm, not the exceptionResearch suggests “that somewhere between 75 and 90 percent of all giving in organizations starts with a request.” The problem? People are often too hesitant to make one. They fear being perceived as incompetent, bothering colleagues, or directing their question to the wrong person. To ease these common fears and facilitate help-seeking in organizations, leaders can establish structures that “make it easier for people to ask for help.” Common approaches include (1) creating a helping-role and (2) implementing a “reciprocity ring.”
   1. 1. Creating a helping-role
         Research says that people are more likely to ask for help when they know where to go and who to ask, and creating a helping-position clarifies this for your employees. Additionally, when you designate an entire position to answering questions and providing help, you implicitly show all employees that questions are encouraged.

    

   1. Implementing a reciprocity ring
      Coined by University of Michigan professor Wayne Baker, a reciprocity ring is a group exercise involving roughly 10-24 members. During the exercise, each member verbalizes a personal or professional request. Then, other “group members use their knowledge, resources, and connections to grant it.” By engaging all participants in both acting and receiving, a reciprocity ring eases common fears of asking for help. Employees with questions see that they are not alone, and givers are able to share their knowledge and energy in the most constructive way.

   Regardless of how you facilitate giving-behavior in your organization, what matters most is that you do. When help-seeking becomes the norm, your employees have access to a wider network of support; your organization sees overwhelmingly positive results; and, most importantly, cooperation becomes the key to success.

2. Recognize givers’ generous acts with small, spontaneous rewardsIf generous acts in the workplace consistently go unnoticed, unappreciated, and unrewarded, givers are bound to burnout. They will take on too many responsibilities that they cannot afford, their own wellbeing and productivity will suffer, and takers will ultimately come out on top. But this is not the only way. To incentivize giving and increase the effectiveness of your organization, consider implementing a “peer-bonus and -recognition program.”A peer-bonus and -recognition program sheds light on the true givers in your midst by encouraging your employees to both pay and bring attention to each other’s “unique or time-consuming acts of helping.” Employees nominate their generous peers, and leaders champion generosity by recognizing and rewarding them.Note: When rewards are involved, Grant recommends keeping them small, or else “some participants will game the system, and the focus on extrinsic rewards may undermine the intrinsic motivation to give.”
3. Help givers set boundaries to protect them from unhealthy giving/self-sacrificeWhen it comes to productivity and organizational effectiveness, givers “are your most valuable people, but if they are not careful, they burnout.” Fortunately, thoughtful leaders can shield givers from this exhausting fate. To set boundaries on giving, designate a helping position and/or designate certain times of the day as helping periods.
4. Recognize takers and screen them out during the hiring processWhen there are too many takers in your midst, it is nearly impossible to sustain a giver-culture, because “takers often do more harm than givers do good.” Therefore, according to Grant, removing takers from your equation is the most important practice you can implement to create a world where givers thrive. To screen out takers, look for people who exhibit the following taking-tendencies:
   • Claiming successes as their own
   • Answering in terms of “I and me instead of us and we”
   • Changing their behavior depending on whether they’re around peers and subordinates or managers and superiors
   • Engaging in “antagonistic behavior at the expense of others—say, badmouthing a peer who’s up for a promotion or overcharging an uninformed customer—simply to ensure that they come out on top”
   • Rationalizing their problematic behaviors instead of making attempts to acknowledge and/or change them

As a leader, it is up to you to create a culture where givers thrive, and to achieve this, Grant recommends that you facilitate help-seeking, reward generosity, protect givers, and screen out takers. When you do, both your organization and the people within it are set up for success. Collaboration and problem solving become more frequent, and teams are naturally more cohesive. People “freely contribute their knowledge and skills to others,” and as a result, they find meaning and purpose in their work. Sustainable giving becomes the norm, and most importantly, you send the message that generosity is the key to success.

Start With WHY

According to Sinek's concept of WHY, “People don’t buy what you do; they buy why you do it.” Ultimately, this idea can explain why some leaders and organizations are more inspirational than others, even when the “others” create similar products, do similar work, generate similar ideas, and have access to similar resources as leaders in their fields.

To explain his concept of WHY in more detail, Sinek codified his findings into one simple idea: “The Golden Circle.” Pictured below, “this little idea explains why some organizations and some leaders are able to inspire where others aren’t.”

Sinek's definitions:

WHAT: What you do, or what your organization does

HOW: How you do whatever it is that you do, or how you, as a leader or organization, achieve your WHAT

WHY: “Why [you] do what [you] do;” your purpose, or cause; the underlying belief that drives you to “get out of bed in the morning”

In the words of Sinek, every leader and organization know their WHAT, some know their HOW, and few know their WHY. As a result, most tend to communicate from the outside in. But the most inspiring? They “think, act, and communicate from the inside out.” In other words, the most inspiring leaders and organizations are those who start with WHY. To understand what’s behind this phenomenon, you can look to both Sinek and biology.

In his seminal TED Talk, Sinek explains that “the human brain is actually broken into three major components that correlate perfectly with “The Golden Circle.’” The component that correlates with the WHY just so happens to be responsible for human emotion, decision-making, and behavior. This means that when you start with WHY, “[you] are talking directly to the part of the brain that controls behavior, and then [you] allow people to rationalize it with the tangible things [you] say and do.” Thus, to increase your impact, inspire others, differentiate yourself, and deliver your message to the part of the brain that is responsible for behavior and emotion, you have to start with your WHY.

Find Your WHY

Finding your WHY is a process – one that requires you to reflect, detect patterns in your life, and rely on a bit of help from people who know you well. For Sinek's guidance as you navigate this process, check out the key resources below.

• Book: Find Your Why: A Practical Guide For Discovering Purpose for You and Your Team
• YouTube video: “Find Your WHY | Simon Sinek”
• On-demand course: “Find Your WHY with Simon”

Live Your WHY

Once you’ve found your WHY, you’re off to a great start! However, this is just the beginning if you want to increase your confidence, stand out in a crowd, seize opportunities, attract others who believe what you believe, find work environments that inspire you, and “live with purpose on purpose.” To reap these benefits of finding your WHY, you must put your WHY into action. To do so, practice:

• Articulating your WHY with clarity and confidence
• Repeating and reinforcing your WHY every day
• Bringing your WHY to the forefront when you are faced with decisions

If you stick to this, “your WHY will [eventually] act as a filter for many of the decisions and choices you make.” In essence, you’ll be living your WHY. While this is not easy, you’ll succeed if you are vigilant, disciplined, and dedicated. In the end, you’ll know it was worth it when you are “better qualified and more importantly, more confident, to choose the careers, choose the jobs, and find the companies that create environments in which [you] are more likely to be inspired and feel fulfilled.”

Success. There is more than one way to measure it, and there is more than one way to define it. According to Tracy, however, there is only one way to achieve it: through good habits and consistent action.

Good Habits

Habits are at the core of almost everything you do. They determine whether you stay focused or reach for your phone, whether you wake up early or sleep until noon, and whether you achieve your most important tasks or procrastinate endlessly. So, to be successful, you must develop success-creating habits. Some of these habits include:

• Successful people believe in their ability to succeed.
• Successful people practice positive thinking. Remember, you become what you think about.
• Successful people practice self-discipline. They have “the ability to make [themselves] do, what [they] should do, when [they] should do it, whether [they] feel like it or not.”
• Successful people set goals that are realistic, simple, and specific.
• Successful people think about their goals and regularly assess their progress.
• Successful people plan their days, prioritize their to-do lists, and stay flexible to accommodate for the unexpected.
• Successful people concentrate on tasks that are essential to achieving their personal, professional, and financial goals.
• Successful people finish a task before tackling a new one. Naturally, this boosts productivity. It also generates a spark of confidence and motivation, both of which are essential to career fulfillment.
• Successful people effectively manage their time, and they understand that time is their most valuable resource. They know when they are most productive throughout the day, and they plan to complete their most important tasks during this time.
• Successful people focus on results and outcomes.
• Successful people operate in “winning environments.” They maximize their productivity by organizing their workspace, minimizing distractions, and making sure that everything they need to succeed is within reach.
• Successful people take sole responsibility for their actions and outcomes.
• Successful people know that “happiness comes from when you believe in what you are doing, know what you are doing, and love what you are doing.”

While certain habits (like those above) create success, others obstruct it. The most successful people recognize and avoid the following bad habits.

• Successful people don’t let fear of failure stop them from taking action.
• Successful people don’t waste time on unimportant or unnecessary tasks.
• Successful people don’t complain.
• Successful people don’t procrastinate.
• Successful people don’t give in to distractions.

On your journey to develop good habits (and avoid bad ones), remember to be patient. Habits are neither learned nor unlearned overnight. Rather, developing new habits requires mindfulness, repetition, time, and effort. At times, this can be frustrating, but don’t let that stop you. After all, the better your habits, the closer you’ll be to maximizing your productivity, performance, satisfaction, and success.

For a step-by-step guide on how to develop new habits, see this post.

Consistent Action

If you want your future to look different than your past or present, you need to “take action, and take action now.” View every day as an opportunity to move closer to achieving your goals, and then take that opportunity! Remember, even small steps have the power to produce large results over time.

Personal development is a process, a pursuit, and (most importantly) a choice. When you choose personal development, you choose to improve and transform yourself through conscious effort as well as conscious work. You make decisions about the person you want to become, and you take a step toward becoming this person every day. In the end, this process will leave you with an increased potential for success, a preparedness to capitalize on opportunities as they present themselves, and a higher quality of life.

To help you choose personal development every day, we’ve included some helpful tips below:

• Start each day by reading, writing, or doing something that is “motivational, inspirational, and educational”
• Focus on the positives (thoughts, feelings, ideas, attitudes, etc.)
• Think about your goals, and think about them often
• Have both short-term and long-term goals
• Develop good habits
• Ditch excuses and exceptions
• Constantly look for ways to improve
• Constantly look for opportunities to learn
• Build your personal skills, or your “soft skills”
• Expand your network
• Step out of your comfort zone
• Track your progress as you move closer to achieving your goals
• Bring your vision to reality with a personal development plan that defines “the kind of person you want to be, skills you want to have, and accomplishments you want to achieve” (for an example of an effective personal development plan, see here)
  

If you’re considering a midlife career change, know that you’re not alone. As said by Tracy, “people change, adapt, move on, lose interest, gain perspective, and shift priorities.” And that’s okay. Whenever the time comes, navigate your next career change “in the least stressful and most seamless way possible” with the following tips.

Consider

Reflect on the positive and negative aspects of your current position in order to gain a clearer picture of the “changes you’re hoping to see in your new career.” 

Clarify

Clarify the career move you want to make. Do your research and learn as much as you can about prospective careers. For a more fulfilling career, look for “something that you want to and enjoy putting effort into.”

Consult

Discuss potential career moves with family, friends, and people in your professional network. Ask for their honest feedback and use it to determine which career(s) you’d be the happiest in.

Connect

Reach out to your connections who have experience in the career(s) you’re considering. A firsthand perspective is especially valuable in this context, as it yields a more informed decision.

Create

While considering a career change is one thing, making that change is another. To get the ball rolling, create an action plan. This process includes specifying your goals, setting deadlines, and taking action. For more on how to create an effective action plan, see this blog post.

Create (again)

Midlife career changes often take time, and it’s essential to account for this if you want to transition successfully. Create a budget “that helps you stay on track to continue providing for yourself while searching for your next incredible opportunity.” If your budget is tight, stay in your current position until you secure an alternative source of income that can support your lifestyle and needs.

Concentrate

Focus your efforts and prepare for your career change. Identify specific roles and companies in which you’re interested, update your application materials, and remain conscious of what you share on social media. Additionally, “consider using your free time to hone in on developing your skills for your new career.”

Change

When you leave your current position, leave with grace and gratitude. Be careful not to burn any bridges, because you never know which connections will resurface in the future. Lastly, be open to new connections and advice as you officially begin your new career.