Effective communication is a crucial skill in both personal and professional life. Whether you’re trying to build relationships, advance in your career, or simply feel more comfortable in social situations, knowing how to talk to anyone can make a significant difference. The ability to be easy to talk to and knowing how to say anything to anyone can open doors and create opportunities that you might not have thought possible.
In this blog, we’ll explore actionable tips and strategies on how to talk to anyone, become someone who is easy to talk to, and navigate conversations where you need to say anything to anyone.
Strategies on How to Talk to Anyone
Understanding the Basics of Communication
Before diving into specific strategies, it’s essential to understand the basics of communication. Good communication is not just about talking; it’s about listening, understanding nonverbal cues, and responding appropriately.
Active Listening: To be easy to talk to, you need to be a good listener. Active listening means fully concentrating on what the other person is saying without thinking about your response while they’re talking. This shows respect and interest in the conversation.
Nonverbal Communication: Your body language, eye contact, and facial expressions play a significant role in how you are perceived. Open, relaxed posture and maintaining eye contact can make you appear more approachable and engaged.
Empathy: Showing empathy means understanding and sharing the feelings of others. When you demonstrate empathy, people are more likely to feel comfortable opening up to you.
How to Talk to Anyone: Building Confidence
Confidence is key when learning how to talk to anyone. Confidence allows you to engage in conversations without fear, and it helps others feel comfortable around you.
Start Small: If you’re not naturally confident in social situations, start by engaging in small talk with people you encounter in your daily life, such as the barista at your local coffee shop or the cashier at the grocery store. These brief interactions can help build your confidence over time.
Positive Self-Talk: Before entering a conversation, remind yourself of your strengths and past successful interactions. Positive self-talk can help reduce anxiety and boost your confidence.
Prepare Topics: Having a few go-to topics or questions can help ease the stress of starting a conversation. Think about general topics that can appeal to a wide range of people, such as current events, hobbies, or recent movies or books.
Becoming Easy to Talk To: Creating a Welcoming Environment
To be someone who is easy to talk to, you need to create a welcoming environment for the other person. This involves being approachable, showing genuine interest, and keeping the conversation flowing naturally.
Smile and Make Eye Contact: A simple smile can go a long way in making you seem approachable. Combine this with maintaining eye contact, and you’ll appear more inviting and interested in what the other person has to say.
Ask Open-Ended Questions: Open-ended questions encourage more detailed responses and help keep the conversation going. Instead of asking, “Did you have a good weekend?” ask, “What did you do over the weekend?”
Avoid Interrupting: Interrupting can make the other person feel undervalued. Let them finish their thoughts before you respond, and acknowledge what they said before adding your input.
How to Say Anything to Anyone: Navigating Difficult Conversations
At some point, you may need to have a difficult conversation. Whether it’s giving constructive feedback, addressing a sensitive issue, or having a tough discussion with a loved one, knowing how to say anything to anyone is essential.
Choose the Right Time and Place: Timing and environment matter when it comes to difficult conversations. Choose a time when the other person is likely to be receptive and a place that offers privacy and comfort.
Be Clear and Direct: Avoid beating around the bush. Be clear and direct about what you need to say, but do so in a way that is respectful and considerate.
Use “I” Statements: “I” statements help to avoid blaming the other person and make it easier for them to listen without becoming defensive. For example, instead of saying, “You always ignore my ideas,” you could say, “I feel frustrated when my ideas are not acknowledged.”
Practice Active Listening: Just as in any conversation, listening is crucial. After you’ve said what you need to say, give the other person the opportunity to respond, and listen to their perspective without interrupting.
Overcoming Conversation Barriers
Even with the best intentions, conversations can sometimes hit roadblocks. Understanding how to overcome these barriers is crucial in learning how to talk to anyone.
Dealing with Awkward Silences: Silence can feel uncomfortable, but it’s a normal part of conversation. If a silence lasts too long, try to steer the conversation back on track with a light comment or a new question.
Handling Different Opinions: Disagreements are natural, but they don’t have to derail the conversation. Acknowledge the other person’s perspective and express your own calmly. You don’t have to agree, but you can agree to respect each other’s views.
Managing Social Anxiety: Social anxiety can make it challenging to talk to others. If you struggle with this, consider practicing mindfulness techniques, such as deep breathing or grounding exercises, to help manage anxiety in social situations.
Enhancing Your Communication Skills Over Time
Communication is a skill that can be developed over time with practice and dedication. Here are some ways to continue improving:
Seek Feedback: Ask friends or colleagues for feedback on your communication style. This can provide valuable insights and help you identify areas for improvement.
Observe Good Communicators: Pay attention to how effective communicators engage with others. Notice their body language, tone, and how they handle different conversation dynamics.
Join Social Groups: Participating in social groups or clubs can provide more opportunities to practice your communication skills. Whether it’s a book club, a sports team, or a hobby group, these environments encourage interaction and dialogue.
Take a Communication Course: If you’re serious about improving, consider enrolling in a communication course. Many community colleges, universities, etc. offer courses that cover various aspects of communication, from public speaking to interpersonal skills. Even if you’re a student with a busy schedule, you can benefit from such courses online. For example, joining an online improvement course can help you practice the art of communication from the comfort of your student apartments in Seattle!
The Benefits of Being a Good Communicator
Mastering the art of communication and learning how to talk to anyone comes with numerous benefits:
Stronger Relationships: Good communication is the foundation of strong, healthy relationships. When you can talk to anyone and be easy to talk to, you build deeper connections with those around you.
Career Advancement: Effective communication is a critical skill in the workplace. Whether you’re networking, collaborating with colleagues, or leading a team, the ability to communicate well can open doors to career opportunities and advancement.
Increased Confidence: The more comfortable you become in conversations, the more confident you’ll feel in social and professional settings. This confidence can translate into other areas of your life, helping you tackle challenges with greater ease.
Better Problem-Solving: When you know how to say anything to anyone, you’re better equipped to navigate conflicts and resolve issues effectively, leading to more positive outcomes in both personal and professional interactions.
Conclusion
Learning how to talk to anyone, becoming someone who is easy to talk to, and knowing how to say anything to anyone are valuable skills that can significantly enhance your life. By focusing on building confidence, creating a welcoming environment, navigating difficult conversations with care, and continuously improving your communication skills, you can become a master communicator.
Start practicing these techniques today, and watch as your interactions become more meaningful, your relationships grow stronger, and your confidence soars.
Want access to even more great career resources? Become a PathWise member! Basic membership is free, so sign up today!
There are people who seem like they effortlessly command attention and respect. Their presence is often captivating, as they exude authority, elegance, and an undeniable charisma. These are usually very well respected leaders.
While they might seem like they were born that way and they are naturally “cool,” it is rather likely that they spent quite some time honing their executive presence.
Defining Executive Presence
So what is executive presence? Basically, it is the combination of confidence, gravitas, and authenticity that make leaders so respected and easy to follow. The good news is that anyone can cultivate the qualities, behaviors, and demeanor that convey leadership, authority, confidence, and charisma.
Specifically, with diligence and determination, anyone can foster the ability to command attention, inspire trust and respect, and influence others positively. All you have to do to gain executive presence is foster the following key components:
Confidence: Believe in yourself, your abilities, and the decisions you made.
Poise and Composure: Maintain composure under pressure and remain calm and collected in challenging situations.
Authenticity: Be genuine, sincere, and true to yourself. Authenticity leads to trust.
Communication Skills: Work on your ability to convey ideas clearly, articulat your vision, and inspire others. This includes fostering verbal, nonverbal, and listening skills.
Emotional Intelligence: Develop, too, your ability to understand your own emotions and those of others. Learn to empathize and navigate interpersonal relationships effectively.
Strategic Thinking: You’ll also need to learn to see the big picture, anticipate challenges, and make decisions that align with organizational goals.
Charisma: Being charming and capable of influencing others is all about embracing yourself as you are, quirks and all.
Professional Appearance and Demeanor: Present yourself in a polished, competent, and respectful manner. This includes your attire, grooming, posture, composure, and body language.
Developing Executive Presence
Those are the components of executive presence that you should seek to foster. How to do it is a different story. Here are some steps to help you begin fostering your executive presence:
Start by working of improving your self-awareness. That is, reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, and areas for improvement related to executive presence. Seek feedback from mentors, peers, or coaches to gain insight into how others perceive you in professional settings. You can also use self-assessment tools.
Then, work on building self-confidence. Know what your strengths are, set achievable goals, celebrate successes, and challenge yourself to step out of your comfort zone. Also pactice confident body language, such as maintaining eye contact, standing tall, and using assertive yet respectful communication.
On that note, the next step is to develop strong communication skills, including clear articulation, active listening, and the ability to tailor your message to different audiences.
Then, cultivate your emotional intelligence. Take time to understand and manage your emotions effectively. Then, work on your interpersonal skills.
Throughout this process, pay attention to your professional appearance, grooming, and overall image. Make sure that you’re consistent and that your speaking tone matches your clothing, which should, in turn, reflect the professional expectations of the industry you work in.
As a more general recommendation, it’s always a good idea to commit to ongoing learning and development to continuously improve your skills, knowledge, and abilities. Stay informed about industry trends, best practices, and emerging technologies relevant to your field.
Finally, be open-minded and solicit feedback regularly.
Pitfalls of Executive Presence
As you begin working on developing your executive presence, be cautious of the following potential pitfalls:
Overconfidence: Avoid coming across as arrogant or overbearing.
Lack of Authenticity: Be true to yourself, leveraging your unique strengths, and developing your own authentic leadership presence. Imitating others will surely backfire.
Micromanagement: Excessive micromanagement can erode trust, stifle creativity, and impede team performance. Instead, empower your team members.
Inconsistency: Inconsistency in behavior, decisions, or communication can also erode trust and credibility. Strive to maintain consistency in your actions, values, leadership approach, and even your style, demeanor, and attire, aligning everything with your leadership or personal brand.
Lack of Self-Awareness: Failing to recognize your strengths, weaknesses, and blind spots can hinder your growth and effectiveness as a leader.
Examples of Strong Executive Presence
Richard Branson: Entrepreneur and founder of the Virgin Group, Richard Branson, is known for his bold leadership style and charismatic personality. He has a natural ability to command attention and inspire others with his visionary ideas and fearless approach to business.
Indra Nooyi: Former CEO of PepsiCo, Indra Nooyi, is celebrated for her strong executive presence and strategic leadership. She navigated complex challenges with confidence and grace, earning respect for her inclusive leadership style and commitment to sustainability and corporate responsibility.
Ginni Rometty: Former CEO and Executive Chairman of IBM, Ginni Rometty, is known for her bold leadership and strategic foresight in navigating IBM through a period of significant transformation. Her ability to inspire confidence and drive innovation underscores her strong executive presence.
Warren Buffett: Renowned investor and Chairman and CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, Warren Buffett, is admired for his calm and pragmatic approach to investing and business leadership. His integrity, humility, and long-term perspective contribute to his enduring executive presence.
Tim Cook: CEO of Apple Inc., Tim Cook is recognized for his steady and measured leadership, maintaining Apple’s innovative culture while overseeing its growth into one of the world’s most valuable companies. His quiet confidence and strategic vision contribute to his strong executive presence.
Conclusion
Executive presence isn’t just about looking important or being in charge. It’s about being a great leader who helps others succeed. It’s about making everyone feel important and capable. True executive presence comes from being humble, understanding others, and wanting to help them succeed.
The cool thing is, anyone can develop executive presence, no matter their job title. It’s all about personal growth and learning, whether you’re a big-shot executive or just starting out. So, if you want to be a great leader, focus on building your executive presence by investing in yourself.
If you’re interested in learning more, check out PathWise coach and advisor Beth Benatti Kennedy’s article on professional presence on our website.
Have you ever watched someone do something so effortlessly and wondered, “How on Earth do they do that?” How can a sculptor transform a block of marble into a gorgeous statue? How does an athlete make gravity seem like a suggestion?
Skills are the knowledge, abilities, and expertise that you acquire through formal education, training, practice, and experience. Skills are what let you perform specific tasks effectively, pursue career opportunities, and contribute to organizations and society.
Skill Types
There are a range of skill categories that help us classify and understand skills based on their characteristics, applications, and relevance in various contexts.
Hard Skills: These are specific, teachable abilities that are typically quantifiable, measurable, and applicable to specific types of use. Examples include computer programming, graphic design, accounting, carpentry, and foreign language proficiency.
Soft Skills: Also known as interpersonal skills or people skills, these are non-technical skills that relate to how we interact with others and navigate social situations. Examples include communication, teamwork, leadership, problem-solving, time management, and adaptability.
Transferable Skills: These are skills that can be applied across different roles, industries, and contexts. They are often acquired through various experiences and can be valuable in diverse situations. Examples include critical thinking, creativity, organization, and customer service.
Job-Specific Skills: These are skills that are directly relevant to a particular job or occupation. They are typically required for performing specific tasks or functions within a specific role or industry. Examples include medical procedures for healthcare professionals, legal research for lawyers, and sales techniques for salespeople.
Adaptive Skills: These are skills that individuals develop to adapt to changing circumstances, environments, or technologies. They involve the ability to learn, unlearn, and relearn as needed to stay relevant and effective as the world continues to change.
Defining Your Skills
You’re probably aware of a few skills you possess, but you might not be sure. Maybe you haven’t been in the job market for a while, or maybe you’re just starting your career. Sometimes, when writing our resumes or a similar document, we stare at the blank page because we suddenly can’t think of anything we’re good at. It’s natural.
Whatever the reason, if you’re having difficulty defining your skills, try the following step-by-step process:
Start by taking some time to reflect on your strengths, weaknesses, interests, and experiences. Consider your past roles, projects, academic pursuits, extracurricular activities, and hobbies. What tasks or activities do you excel at? What do you enjoy doing? What feedback have you received from others about your abilities?
As you start getting some ideas, write them down. Some might not be relevant to your specific objective, but include everything that comes to mind. Include both hard skills (technical abilities) and soft skills (interpersonal qualities). Try to be as specific and detailed as possible.
Then, classify your skills. You can use the categories above to organize your list. Also, identify your transferable skills. These are skills that you can apply in various contexts and are valuable assets regardless of the specific job you’re pursuing. Knowing what these are will come in handy if you’re writing a resume or preparing for an interview, for instance.
You can also ask for feedback from friends, family members, colleagues, mentors, or supervisors. They may provide insights into your strengths and skills that you hadn’t considered.
If you’re really struggling, consider seeking feedback from performance evaluations, academic assessments, or professional assessments such as personality tests or skills assessments.
Make sure you update your list regularly. Skills development is an ongoing process, so it’s important to regularly update and refine your list of skills. Keep track of new skills you acquire, experiences you gain, and feedback you receive. This ensures that your skills remain relevant and accurately reflect your qualifications over time.
Finally, take advantage of online resources, career assessments, and skill quizzes to further explore and define your skills. These tools can provide insights, guidance, and inspiration as you continue to develop and refine your skill set. We have a Skills, Abilities, and Experience tool we’ve specifically designed to help you measure your degree of comfort and mastery in over 80 skills. Skills Assessment Tool
Developing & Fostering Your Skills
If there’s a specific skill you want to develop and foster, you’ll need to put some intentional effort into learning and practicing, as well as gathering feedback on how you’re doing.
Start by setting clear goals. Identify the specific skills you want to develop and set clear, achievable goals for yourself. Make sure your goals are specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART).
Seek out learning opportunities to acquire new knowledge and skills. This could include enrolling in courses, workshops, seminars, webinars, or online tutorials. Look for both formal and informal learning opportunities that align with your goals. LinkedIn Learning, Udemy, Coursera and others offer a range of free courses. PathWise also has a growing library of career-focused courses available.
Practice is essential for skill development. Make sure you dedicate time each day or week to practice the skills you’re trying to develop. Be deliberate about your practice. Focus on specific aspects of the skill and on improving your weak spots. Practicing in this way will help you make more progress more quickly.
Seek feedback from mentors, peers, supervisors, or coaches to gain insights into your strengths and areas for improvement. Actively solicit feedback on your performance, and be open to constructive criticism. If you want to work with a career or leadership coach, we can help.
Take time to reflect on your learning and progress regularly. Evaluate what’s working well and what needs adjustment. Reflection allows you to track your growth and adjust your approach as needed.
Keep yourself updated about industry trends, advancements, and best practices related to your skills. Stay curious and continuously seek opportunities to expand your knowledge and expertise. This might involve reading industry publications, attending conferences, participating in professional development events, or joining relevant online communities.
Step out of your comfort zone. Challenge yourself by taking on new and unfamiliar tasks that require you to stretch your skills. Embrace opportunities for growth and don’t be afraid to tackle challenges head-on.
Collaborate with others who possess complementary skills or expertise. Engaging in teamwork, brainstorming sessions, or group projects can help you learn from others and broaden your perspective.
Share your knowledge with others. Teaching, mentoring, tutoring, or leading workshops are all powerful ways to solidify your own understanding of a subject or skill. This forces you to articulate your thoughts clearly and can deepen your understanding of the material.
Be persistent. Skill development takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself. Stay focused on your goals, stay motivated, and don’t get discouraged by setbacks. Remember that progress is incremental, and every step forward brings you closer to your objectives.
Skills in Your Resume
When writing skills in a resume, it’s important to present them in a clear, organized, and relevant manner that highlights your qualifications for the job you’re applying for. Here are some tips on how to effectively list skills on your resume:
Review the job description carefully and identify the key skills and qualifications required for the position. Then, customize your resume to emphasize the skills that are most relevant to that job. This shows the employer that you have the specific abilities they’re looking for.
Create a dedicated section on your resume specifically for listing your skills to make it easy for employers (or their automated hiring systems) to quickly identify your qualifications.
Organize skills strategically. Group them into categories based on their relevance to the job. For example, you might have separate sections for “Technical Skills,” “Leadership Skills,” and “Interpersonal Skills.”
List your most relevant and impressive skills at the top of each section. This ensures that the employer sees your strongest qualifications first to help grab their attention.
When describing your skills, use specific examples or metrics to demonstrate your proficiency. Instead of simply saying you have “communication skills,” provide examples of presentations you’ve given, reports you’ve written, or projects you’ve collaborated on that showcase your communication abilities.
Start each skill statement with a strong action verb to convey confidence and accomplishment. For example, instead of saying “Proficient in Microsoft Excel,” you could say “Excelled in using Microsoft Excel to analyze data and create comprehensive management reports.”
Whenever possible, quantify your skills or accomplishments to provide context and demonstrate your impact. For instance, you could say “Increased sales by 20% through effective sales strategies” or “Managed a team of ten employees to successfully complete project deliverables on time and within budget.”
Only include skills on your resume that you genuinely possess and can confidently discuss if asked in an interview. Exaggerating or misrepresenting your skills could backfire during the hiring process.
List per Category
If you need some ideas of skills you’d like to include in your resume, LinkedIn or similar, check out the list below for some thought starters.
Technical Skills
Programming
Data Analysis
Digital Marketing
Copy Writing
Cloud Computing
Web Development
Graphic Design
Creative Skills
Writing (fiction, non-fiction, copywriting)
Illustration
Photography
Music Composition
Video Editing
Creative Problem Solving
User Experience Design
Storytelling
Painting or Drawing
Interpersonal Skills
Communication
Active Listening
Conflict Resolution
Negotiation
Empathy
Collaboration
Persuasion
Emotional Intelligence
Networking
Leadership Skills
Decision Making
Strategic Planning
Team Building
Vision Setting
Coaching and Mentoring
Change Management
Conflict Management
Motivation
Thinking Skills
Critical Thinking
Problem Solving
Systems Thinking
Strategic Thinking
Innovation
Adaptability
Experience-Based Skills
Project Management
Customer Service
Sales
Event Planning
Teaching or Training
Research
Public Speaking
Budgeting
Quality Assurance
Personal Skills
Adaptability
Resilience
Stress Management
Time Management
Organization
Patience
Integrity
Accountability
Knowledge-Based Skills
Industry-Specific Knowledge
Cultural Competence
Financial Literacy
Legal Knowledge
Scientific Methodology
Historical Perspective
Geographic Awareness
Technological Proficiency
Each of us harbors a distinctive arsenal of skills, refined through years of experience and dedication. Recognizing these skills is crucial for seizing new opportunities, as it positions us to grasp the value each skill offers. By categorizing and delineating our abilities, we not only achieve clarity but also enhance our ability to effectively communicate our worth to others. This clarity serves as a gateway to fresh opportunities, opening doors that might otherwise remain shut.
Self-care is more important than ever. After the last couple of years, many of us are feeling weighed down in different ways. If you’re wondering how to restore your mind at work (and in your personal life), you’re not alone. It’s so important to set up a daily routine focused on renewing your mind, take some time to revitalize your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being so you are ready for whatever lies ahead in your career path.
To renew your mind and feel happier at work, try these three suggestions:
How to Renew Your Mind
Stop over-anticipating I have noticed some of my leadership coaching clients stuck in a rut, spinning their wheels as they try to anticipate the future. That’s natural, but give yourself a break and limit how much of it you do. Instead, accept uncertainty and focus on renewing your mind in the present.
Stay connected Sometimes when stressed, it’s tempting to avoid people, but connection is crucial. Take time for social interactions with those who recharge you, whether you connect remotely or in person. When you are with someone, remind yourself to be fully present and listen to the other person.
Pause and reflect A great way to restore your mind is to pause and reflect. Note what triggers stress and anxiety for you and try a pause breath.
Research shows deep breathing, or abdominal breathing, reduces stress by increasing oxygen levels in the brain and bloodstream and clearing out carbon dioxide in the lungs. As you breathe, hold a hand over your belly. Watch it rise with every deep in-breath and fall with every extended out-breath. Try breathing in to a count of four and breathing out to a count of six.
How to Recharge your Physical Well-Being
Renew your energy
Are you fueling your body with the right foods? A healthy diet is essential to wellness of both mind and body, while a poor diet with too much sugar or too many processed foods can make you low in energy.
Stay well-hydrated. It’s easy to forget to drink a glass of water, but try filling a carafe with water in the morning and keeping it in your workspace so you’re reminded to drink.
Exercise is important, but you don’t have to spend hours at the gym every day. Just focus on moving your body and raising your blood pressure. Take a short walk in the middle of the day and if you can, walk where you have exposure to nature and fresh air, such as a park.
Sleep is essential for physical and mental recovery. Sleep can help with rebooting your brain function for the new day, renewing your mind and your mental health. Are you regularly getting enough sleep at night? If not, a quick online search will yield sleep hygiene tips.
Manage your energy ‘leaks’
Are you treating your energy like the valuable, renewable resource it is? An important part of restoring your energy is addressing your energy ‘leaks’. Some examples of energy leaks include toxic relationships, technology addiction, and unclear boundaries in your work life balance.
When you recognize your energy leaks, you can take steps to address them. Sometimes, that means saying no. Believe it or not, saying no can often lead to amazing recharge and work impact!
Renew your spirit
Be honest about your feelings
This has been a challenging time and it is okay to share these feelings, whether it’s with a trusted friend or in a journal. Some people find meditation a great way to create ‘space’ and let go of what is weighing them down.
Make time for yourself
Take time for your spiritual practice, whatever that means to you. It could be being more mindful, going on more walks, or enjoying nature, yoga, or anything that connects you to your values and purpose. When you take time for yourself, it can help you focus on what your purpose is and feel more centered.
Mix things up
Explore life by venturing outside of your comfort zone or doing things a little differently. Go to an art gallery, explore a museum, or try something creative like finger painting! Make an occasion out of a meal at home, whether it’s a leisurely Sunday brunch or a candlelight dinner (even if it’s leftovers!) Add some new weekend activities that are enjoyable and bring more excitement into your everyday life.
Try these tactics to recharge your mental, physical, and spiritual well-being and boost your career resilience.
For more career guidance, check out the rest of our site
Skill development – at least with an underlying sense of intent – often takes a back seat to all of the day-to-day activities that consume time and energy. And while you should have a steady focus on skill set throughout your career, it’s especially important to build skills in development when you’re in the early days of your professional life.
Key moments to focus on developing work skill development include when you step into a bigger or different role, when you make (or want to make) a career change, and when you go to work for a new company. Each of these situations presents new challenges, reveals skill gaps, and forces you onto a new skill gaps and usually steeper learning curve. Here is how to get a jumpstart on your skill development strategy.
What is Skill Development?
Psychologists have been publishing research on how people develop skills and on the different types of skills since at least the 1960s. They use a litany of different classification schemes to describe skills, some of which are easier to follow than others. From the lay perspective, they generally boil down to:
Hard skills, such as accounting or carpentry, which are task-related. These are also called technical or cognitive skills or competencies.
Soft skills, such as influence, motivation and emotional intelligence, which are behavioral. These are also called social or interpersonal skills. Character traits and attitudes, such as work ethic and integrity, are sometimes lumped in with soft skills, though they are somewhat different.
Some skills are domain-specific and others are domain-general or transferrable. For example, carpentry skills won’t make you a good accountant (and vice versa) but being a good motivator is likely to help you whether you’re a carpenter or an accountant. Soft skills are inherently more readily transferable. At PathWise, we’ve outlined a subset of them that we see as the 10 Essential Core Skills, traits like authenticity, conviction, and resilience.
Skill development and the job search process
While a formal focus on skill development goes back at least as far as the Middle Ages concept of guilds (professions) and apprenticeships, being able to describe your skills is of particular importance in this current era of keyword-focused Applicant Tracking Systems that are often used by employers to perform automated resume screening for skill requirements.
If you don’t have the right skill-related keywords in your resume, you’re going to get screened out. ATSs expand employers’ ability to review candidates, but they have also had several unfortunate consequences:
They inadvertently end up screening out solid candidates who don’t include the right skill-related keywords into their resume or CV. Don’t let this be you- make sure you appropriately incorporate your key skills into your resume.
Candidates feel compelled to pack their resumes or CVs with long lists of keywords, leading to their invariably providing an over-stated representation of themselves and eroding their credibility as candidates. Again, don’t let this be you. Focus on your biggest strengths and the ones that align more significantly with the job(s) you’re seeking.
A growing for-profit education industry has developed around issuing skill-related licenses or certifications. While some of these programs are reputable and well-developed, a good many of them aren’t, and employers are smart enough to see right through that. If you’re considering investing in a skill development program or other form of continuing education, do your homework before signing up and investing your time and money.
Employee Skill Development
Employers are also increasingly focused on characterizing their employees’ skills in a more systematic fashion. Let’s face it: most companies have only a minimal (and likely skewed) understanding of their employees’ skills.
Their HR departments are familiar only with employees’ education, the broad strokes of their work for prior employers, the different roles they have held in the company itself, and their performance in those roles (which is usually documented only through the lens of their managers – hence the inevitable bias).
By capturing their skills in a more comprehensive fashion, companies can more readily identify candidates for open roles. They also remove some of the bias that invariably exists in evaluating current performance and suitability for other roles.
HR technology providers, such as Cornerstone, Coursera, Degreed, LinkedIn, and Udemy have jumped into this space. This has spawned a related race to come up with the best skills taxonomy that provide listings of skills, a customized learning experience, and their relevance to employee development for different job types. (If you want to dive down the rabbit hole on skills taxonomies, check out this podcast from leading HR consultant Josh Bersin. He has even coined the term “Skillstech” to describe players in this space.)
How this focus can benefit your skill development
For you, one benefit of all this HR tech development is that it’s much easier to identify what HR professionals see as the key skills for different types of roles. These skill-job libraries provide you with a training plan template of sorts for where to focus your skill development work.
It’s also easier than ever for you to take advantage of the many options for learning that have blossomed over the past decade, including those offered by your current employer, which often go under-utilized, much to your HR colleagues’ dismay.
Again, though, do your homework up-front, particularly when considering an external program, so that you invest your time and money wisely. Bear in mind as well that education is only one of the means by which you develop your skills, and it pales in comparison to what you learn experientially.
Different sources of skill development
When you get to the point of actually developing your skills, it’s helpful to bear in mind a framework known as the 4Es:
Experience, which includes day-to-day practice and on-the-job training. This is “learning by doing.”
Exposure, which includes what you learn from managers, team members, mentors or your external network
Education, which includes whatever level of schooling you completed prior to joining the work force as well as training and other programs you complete once you’re in the work force
Environment, which includes the tools, systems, and infrastructure that support you in a job. It also includes the culture and processes that facilitate or hinder learning.
Your lifelong learning plan, or skill development plan, should include all four of these elements.
The process of skill development
How you learn a new skill usually follows a step-wise process first described by various psychologists about 50 years ago and summarized nicely by Wikipedia:
Unconscious incompetence, during which you don’t understand or know how to do something and don’t necessarily recognize the deficit. You may even deny the usefulness of the skill. It’s important here for you to recognize your incompetence (apologies if that sounds harsh), and the value of the new skill, before moving on to the next stage. The length of time you spend in this stage depends on the strength of the stimulus to learn.
Conscious incompetence. In this stage, you don’t understand or know how to do something, however, you recognize the areas for improvement (deficit), as well as the value of a new skill in addressing the deficit. The making of mistakes can be integral to the learning process at this stage.
Conscious competence, during which you understand or know how to do something. However, demonstrating the skill or knowledge requires concentration. It may be broken down into steps, and there is heavy conscious involvement in executing the new skill.
Unconscious competence, by which time you have had so much practice with a skill that it has become “second nature” and can be performed easily. As a result, the skill can be performed while executing another task. You may also be able to teach it to others, depending upon how and when it was learned.
As a simple example, consider learning to shoot a basketball free throw. At first, you do whatever you think works best to get the ball into (or at least near) the hoop. You don’t yet have a grasp on what you’re doing well and not well. That’s unconscious incompetence.
As you continue to practice, you start to become aware of your flaws but you’re not fully sure how to fix them. That’s conscious incompetence. You then ask a good free throw shooter or a coach to help you to improve your shot. You get some good tips and further practice, but it still requires a lot of thought each time you step up to the free-throw line.
It may also require you to unlearn some of the bad habits you developed in your early attempts at learning to shoot free throws. That’s conscious competence. As you continue to practice, your muscle memory builds and the process becomes more natural. That’s unconscious competence, and if you’re really, really lucky, it turns you into Steph Curry, the NBA’s career free throw percentage leader at over 90.7%.
While this sports-related example is easy to explain, this same process occurs in other types of skill development as well. Hence it’s important for you to surround yourself with people (managers, more experienced peers, mentors) who will help you make the transition from conscious incompetence to conscious competence.
Creating a skill development plan
If you’re committed to developing your skills and hitting development goals, you need an actual plan, one that factors in the skills you need:
Now for success in your current role or at the moment
Soon for growth in your role or readiness for the next role
Long-term to meet your career objectives
Focus on the skills themselves (the “what” and the “why”) and the way in which you are going to learn them (the “how”). Give yourself some deadlines (the “when”). As a few examples, you might set skill-related short and long term goals to:
Build finance experience by taking on a part-time assignment this quarter within the company’s Finance function [an experience-oriented goal]
Sign up for the company’s user experience (UX) training program to help me develop a deeper understanding of UX principles in my product design work [an education-oriented goal]
Get a job with XYZ company to have the opportunity to work in the environment of the unquestioned leader in our industry [an environment-oriented goal]
Ask XYZ individual to mentor me this year so that I can get exposure to her leadership style [an exposure-oriented goal]
Commit the time to developing this plan. Review it with your manager or HR partner, a mentor, or other trusted colleague. Refine it accordingly. View it like any other goal that requires a specific plan and timeline for building the skills on which you choose to focus.
Continue to review this plan over time, as your work situation, longer-term aspirations, and company and market environment all evolve. Make skill development an ongoing focus, in line with the notion of being a lifelong learner. The continued focus will accelerate your progress in your early years and will invariably assist you in achieving your goals.
Advocating is one of those invaluable professional skills, irrespective of what you do for a living. It’s something of a hybrid between influencing (where you’re usually making a softer push) and selling (where you’re making a harder push), and it’s an important blend of the two.
Despite its importance, however, advocating is uncomfortable for many people, particularly when it comes to advocating for themselves in the workplace. It can feel boastful or self-serving, yet knowing how to advocate for yourself at work is crucial for your career success.
Are You Advocating for Yourself?
You’re likely already advocating much more than you think, whether it’s for yourself, your team, your manager, or your company.
Want to convince someone to do a task the way you believe it should be done? Advocating.
Aiming to work on a corporate project for your boss’ boss? Advocating.
Obviously, you have to know what you want to be able to advocate for it. And as much as you might believe that your manager, his or her manager, your co-workers, or human resources know what you want professionally, odds are they don’t.
They have their own interests – which may or may not be aligned with achieving your goals – as well as many other things on their minds. Even if they do know what you want, they often need to be reminded or nudged to act.
Yes, it’s possible to advocate too much for yourself and develop a negative reputation as a consequence. However, most of you should almost certainly be advocating for yourselves more than you are right now.
To a degree, even when managers complain about someone being overly aggressive in asking for what they want, they respect that person for their ambition, and they are more likely than not to take action as a result. As the saying goes, “The squeaky wheel gets oiled,” at least in part because most managers want to be liked.
When you don’t get what you’re seeking – assuming you’re not asking for too much or being too impatient about it – you get a good sense of where you stand (or don’t) in the eyes of your manager or employer.
That’s always helpful intel, even if it’s not the kind of intel you wanted, because it indicates you either need to change others’ perceptions of you to better align with your own self-perception, or it suggests a larger issue that might necessitate making a change. In this sense, you gain, whether you get what you’re seeking or not.
You can advocate for yourself during 1x1s with your manager, if you have such meetings. (If you don’t, that’s a separate issue.) You can set up an ad hoc meeting for the discussion – or suggest you and your manager go to lunch or have a drink after work, where they’re more likely to be relaxed and open to hearing you out.
You can have the discussion with your skip-level manager – and if your direct manager is made uncomfortable by your having such a discussion with his or her boss, it’s an indication that you work for an insecure manager. You can have an advocating discussion setting boundaries of a performance review or career discussion.
The point is – there are many opportunities to have these discussions. You just have to do it – it goes back to the notion of being in the business of you, and owning your own career.
How to Advocate for Yourself at Work
As a simple exercise, consider something you want in your current job situation for which you feel you need to practice self advocacy in the workplace, ideally something you’ve been hesitant to raise. Then write down the following:
I want [what you want] from [person or group] because [why you want it]
It’s important to me because [provide reasons, ideally incorporating some emotion or values statements in your choice of words]
What I’m proposing makes sense because [list of reasons why it will benefit the person or group – this is arguably the most important point]
The person or group I am trying to convince may have concerns about [list of concerns they may have for giving you what you want – this is also important]
They shouldn’t be concerned, though, because [re-state / summarize how what you want benefits them]
To increase their willingness to grant me what I want, I will [actions you will take to alleviate any concerns they have or demonstrate your commitment to what you are proposing]
Planning Your Discussion
Come back to what you’ve written down in a day or a few days later. Make sure you’ve thought through how you want to have the conversation on this topic, with whom, and when, because recipient and timing definitely matter. As an extreme example, you generally don’t want to be asking your boss for a pay raise when the company has just announced layoffs.
In any case, don’t go into the discussion half-cocked. Be thoughtful. Test it on your career development support network, such as friends and family who won’t be threatened by what you’re seeking. Be especially clear on why giving you what you want is in the interest of the person with whom you’re going to have the discussion.
Remember that they have their own interests and you’re advocating for yours. And be persistent. It often takes asking for something several times for your manager (or human resource) to realize that you’re serious about it and that it’s important to you.
Reflecting on the Discussion
Once you’ve had the discussion, reflect on how it went. Did you articulate your message as planned? Did you convey why it was important to you? Were you able to address the other individual’s concerns? Did you agree on a concrete action plan, even if it was just to continue the discussion within a certain timeframe?
Few conversations go perfectly, and you can almost always learn something even when they go well. Take the time to reflect after these important discussions, so that you are better prepared the next time.
The more often you do this (within reason), the more comfortable it will become for you, and the more comfortable your manager or employer will become with hearing you out. It will become an inherent and expected part of your relationship, and if managed well, that can be incredibly powerful.
Remember as well – to quote the Rolling Stones – you can’t always get what you want. Prioritize what’s most important to you and focus on that. But once you’ve narrowed in on what’s most important, don’t be afraid to ask for it. Unless you’re advocating for yourself at work, you’re probably not going to get what it is you’re seeking.
No matter what you do, mastering certain skills required for work is crucial for career success. Consider them as the “10 essentials”, a reference to the items you should always have with you when you go camping or hiking, especially in backcountry areas. These 10 career skills won’t be equally important in every role, but if you master them, you will position yourself well for a broad range of career situations.
Pathwise’s Essential Career Skills
Authenticity
Though this list is arranged alphabetically, it’s also appropriate for authenticity to come first among our list of career skills because it is arguably the most important trait of all. Whoever you are, be yourself.
You should always work on being your best self, particularly in professional settings, but be your best self, not someone else’s. If you try to be someone else, or to mimic their style, it won’t feel natural, and it will come across as phony.
Accept as well that you won’t always be at your best. It’s part of the human experience. In this context, it’s ok to admit your mistakes and acknowledge your flaws and weaknesses, especially if you talk about them with candor, show humility and vulnerability in doing so, and demonstrate that you are learning from them and working to be better every day.
Collaboration
Very few, if any of us, literally work alone all the time. We depend on others to accomplish our day-to-day work and our broader professional objectives, including the people with whom we regularly work, those in our companies more broadly, and people outside our firms. For these reasons, it’s essential to work well in team situations and to be team players.
You’ll need to accept the “give and take” and to compromise at times. But no one wants to work with someone who is difficult, who doesn’t carry their share of the load, who’s a “lone wolf”, or who hogs all the glory. Be someone whose team members appreciate as a colleague.
Communication
Whole books have been written about good communication as a core career skill, and we won’t try to summarize them all here. Suffice it to say that your written and oral communications should, at a minimum, be clear, concise, and complete. Each of these play a major part in having good communication skills.
When speaking, your tone and body language should reinforce the message you are delivering. Remember that research consistently indicates that 90%+ of your communication is not in what you’re saying itself.
As you become a stronger communicator, you should also work on being compelling. Appropriately use tone, emotion, gestures, movement, and repetition to amplify your message without taking away from it.
Additionally, communication skills include actively listening to make people feel heard. To loosely quote Maya Angelou, bear in mind that people may not remember what you said, but they’ll remember how you made them feel.
Conviction
Conviction is ultimately a measure of whether you believe in yourself and in your point of view. It doesn’t mean that you’re always right, but it does mean indicate you’re capable of exhibiting great leadership skills.
For example, are you willing to make a bold move or an unpopular decision? Are you comfortable taking calculated risks? Do you have the courage to speak your truth or to take a contrarian viewpoint? Are you an independent thinker and worker? Are you willing to give constructive feedback when it needs to be provided, even when it might not be well-received? In all of these situations, having conviction is critical.
Drive
Drive is a measure of your aspirations. You demonstrate it in a number of ways. Are you self-motivated? Are you intellectually curious? Do you seek continuous improvement – in yourself, in others, and in the organizations of which you’re a part? Are you open to feedback, even when it’s uncomfortable to receive? Do you balance your drive by not truly expecting perfection, by celebrating small wins, and by saying, “Thank you” along the way?
Remember as well that drive is also an indicator that your activities are aligned with your passions and interests. If this alignment exists, it will be evident, in your energy and in your enthusiasm for what you do. If the alignment is lacking, you won’t be able to bring your best every day, and that’s something you’ll need to address.
Empathy
Empathy is about being able to envision yourself in someone else’s place, to understand their life context, their worldview, and their perspective. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them or let them have their way. It does mean that you understand and are taking into account how they will see what you’re saying to them, what you’re asking of them, or what you’re expecting of them.
Some people are naturally empathetic, while others eventually discover for themselves how to be empathetic. Still others never achieve this self-discovery, and they are less effective leaders and colleagues as a result. Work at unlocking your empathetic self.
Execution
Put simply, execution is about being able to get things done, about achieving results. Do you have strong problem-solving skills? Are you able to see the steps needed to achieve a goal? Can you clearly communicate those steps to those whose help you will need in accomplishing them? Do you create the right kind of environment for personal and team success? Are you able to see risks and mitigate them, and to overcome obstacles when they present themselves? Do you achieve your results in the right way? Work is ultimately about execution. Hence it’s critical that you have a strong reputation for time management, work ethic, and the ability to get things done right.
Influence
The importance of influencing skills cannot be overstated. They are useful in so very many situations, because no one is always in charge. Influencing is about getting someone to see your point of view, to come to your way of thinking, or to do what you would like them to do, even if it’s not what they wanted or not in their self-interest.
You exercise your influencing skills when you lack absolute positional authority (i.e., you’re not the boss) and often even when you have such authority. Particularly in today’s heavily matrixed large corporations, influencing skills are a must. They’re also useful when you need to advocate for yourself (in and of itself an important skill) and when you’re negotiating for something or trying to resolve a conflict. Having strong interpersonal skills will broaden the range of situations in which you can be effective.
Judgment
The strength of your judgment is revealed by the quality of your decisions. Are you thoughtful about the actions you take? Do you take into account the pros and cons of potential courses of action? Do you make an effort to see a situation from different vantage points, such as the perspective of different stakeholders? Do you make ethical choices, ones you would not be embarrassed to see made public in some fashion?
Some people lack good judgment. Some never develop a good moral compass. Putting such people in leadership or other decision-making roles leads to bad outcomes, for themselves, their teams, and their organizations. Be known for your judgment and your sense of ethics.
Resilience
Wrapping up the list with resilience is appropriate, because work is hard. Not everything about it is ever fully in your control.
Changes will take place, and they won’t always be good for you. Along the way, you will make mistakes, experience failure, and come up short relative to goals or expectations.
Work and other aspects of your life won’t always be in perfect harmony. This is natural, and we all feel this way. Being able to weather these times – to learn from them, to move past them, and to draw strength from them – is what resilience is about.
This doesn’t mean putting up with a work (or life) situation that is leaving you miserable or unfulfilled. If you feel that way, you need to work to understand why, and to do something about it. But it’s important to realize that everyone has tough days, and that the resilient are those who learn to adapt, to maintain a positive outlook, and to stand tall, even when things are challenging for them.
Work at mastering these 10 essential career skills. Incorporate them into job interviews with prospective new hires – and ask candidates to walk you through real examples.
To be clear, these “soft” career skills aren’t a substitute for technical competence – so called “hard” skills. You have to know how to do your job if you want to be successful. But strength in these areas will be a massive force multiplier on your technical competence, because if you have both the technical skills and these foundational traits as well, you are destined for greatness.
We offer tools for you to self-assess your capability levels in each of these areas and to gather input on them from those around you. We offer skill-building content and events, and we provide access to coaches who can help you work on a personalized course of action to improve in areas that your dream jobs require..
