Introduction – My Experience
I am not afraid of the stage or the spotlight. When I was a Ph.D. student, I felt comfortable teaching and presenting my research at conferences. I actually enjoyed it.
But each time my advisor would say, “There’s this conference we should go to…” my heart would shrink. Just thinking about the networking sessions was enough for me to feel energy-drained.
I preferred conferences where I would present because that meant people would approach me. But having to approach other researchers and start the conversation, or simply join a group of people who seemed like they knew each other, was challenging for me.
I’m an introvert, and socializing drains my batteries. But I learned to network. I had to. And it no longer makes me uncomfortable (even if I still find it a bit exhausting).
I assume that if you’re reading this, you can relate. As someone who’s been where you are, I can tell you, it is possible, even enjoyable, to network as an introvert. You just have to learn to do it based on your needs, strengths, and interests, adjusting the networking approach to fit your introverted personality.
Defining Introversion
Before we get to networking tips, let’s explain introversion. Being an introvert simply means that we prefer to be alone, in quiet environments, or enjoying internal reflection. Introverts are not necessarily shy, insecure, anxious, or low in self-esteem. It has nothing to do with that.
Introversion is a personality trait that exists on a spectrum (so some of us are more introverted than others). What defines introversion is that we typically feel more energized and rejuvenated after spending time alone, engaging in solitary activities such as reading and writing, or working on individual projects.
When it comes to relationships, we prefer depth, focusing on a few close connections rather than maintaining a large social circle. We may also be more reserved in social situations. We prefer meaningful conversations over small talk, and prolonged interaction can really make us feel drained. But this can be a networking strength!
Why should introverts network?
If you’re reading this, you probably know that you need to network. But, in case you still need a little convincing, let’s review a few of its benefits:
- Networking provides opportunities to meet new people, including potential employers, mentors, collaborators, and clients.
- Building connections can lead to new job opportunities, partnerships, and career advancement.
- Networking can help gain valuable insights, knowledge, and perspectives that contribute to our personal and professional growth.
- Networking allows us to raise our professional visibility and establish ourselves as experts or thought leaders in our fields.
Networking Tips for Introverts
Now that we’ve clarified the definition of introversion and reviewed the main benefits of networking, let’s go over specific networking strategies tailored to harness the strengths of introverts. These strategies focus on three main dimensions: shifting our attitudes toward networking, leveraging our strengths as introverts, and strategically adapting networking practices to fit introverted personalities.
Know What Networking is Really About
Keith Ferrazzi is a networking expert and the author of Never Eat Alone. In this book, he explains that networking is all about being generous, meaning always having something to offer.
People sometimes assume networking is about receiving, collecting business cards, or expanding your LinkedIn network. However, it’s about having something to offer before you ask for something in return. We all have something of value or a way to help others, even if it’s simply sharing insights, experiences, or different perspectives.
Let Go of Negative Associations
A lot of people, but especially introverts, have negative beliefs they associate with networking. Let go of that.
- Networking isn’t exclusively for social butterflies and outgoing people. We all need to network, and as introverts, we can excel at it through our focus and ability to build deeper relationships.
- Networking is not just about seeking immediate benefits; it’s about building genuine and meaningful connections based on mutual support, learning, and collaboration.
- Networking doesn’t have to be time-consuming and insincere. You can make genuine connections by focusing on quality over quantity and being authentic in your interactions.
- Networking can be uncomfortable and feel forced, but, with the right tools, it can become natural and enjoyable.
So, shift your mindset to not only the benefits of networking but also its importance and what it really entails.
Leverage Online Networking
With social media and email, we really have no excuses. We can network easily by communicating online, where we can take our time to think through our interactions and have conversations without feeling the pressure of face-to-face interactions. Here, we can also control the pace and depth of the conversations. And, rejection (or being ignored, really) doesn’t hit as hard.
Focus on One-to-Ones (Or Small Groups)
As introverts, prolonged conversations and noisy environments can make us feel tired, distracted, and even stressed. But one-on-one interactions don’t have that effect, or at least not as quickly. And, we can engage at a deeper level. As introverts, we appreciate genuine connections based on mutual interests and understanding, leading to more authentic and fulfilling relationships.
One-to-one interactions let us conserve our social energy and avoid overstimulation, enabling us to maintain a sense of comfort and confidence throughout the networking process. So, instead of seeking connections only during networking events, invite one person (or two) to lunch or coffee. You can invite them via email, text, or social media. And to know more or less what to say, read along!
There Is No Need for Small Talk
We introverts often have a problem with small talk. We don’t appreciate its superficiality or triviality. But there’s more to it. Usually, what bothers us is that small talk requires quick thinking and spontaneous responses, and introverts prefer to process thoughts internally before speaking.
My advice is not to engage in small talk. Instead, have deep conversations from the get-go by asking meaningful questions. Networking expert Dorie Clark recommends questions like, “What’s the coolest thing you’re working on?” Or, you could ask, “What’s the best part of your job?”.
Another good idea is to ask questions about trending topics. For instance, right now, you could ask questions about how AI has impacted your potential connection’s industry, if applicable. People love talking about themselves, their professional experiences, and even their kids! Simply ask questions that people like to answer.
Ask Questions and Listen Attentively
If you’re having trouble thinking of questions, I recommend two strategies.
First, have a bank of questions that you can always turn to. Make them general enough that they would apply to anyone you meet (in case you spontaneously meet someone with whom you’d like to connect).
Second, do some research. If you’re inviting someone for coffee or strategically and purposely planning to approach someone, check out their social media and work websites, and figure out what to ask them. When you do, listen attentively to keep the conversation going.
For Bigger Events, Have a Plan
When it comes to conferences or similar big events, have a plan. Again, do your research.
Figure out who’s going to be there, with whom you want to connect, topics of mutual interest, and when you want to seek them out. For example, it’s often easier to get “quality time” with a conference speaker just before their speaking slot.
It’s much harder to do so right after they’ve spoken, when everyone approaches the stage and competes for attention.
Prepare an Elevator Pitch
Eventually, people will ask you questions. Likely, one of the first will be about what you do and where you’d like to go. As introverts, we sometimes don’t say enough, and sometimes we say too much. You don’t want to appear rude, but you also don’t want to overwhelm the person.
The best strategy is to prepare an elevator pitch (about two minutes long), where you can explain your professional experience, strengths, and what you plan or want to do next.
Find an Extrovert to Help You Expand Your Circle
Most of the introverts I know have extroverted friends. Extroverts usually have expansive networks and enjoy meeting new people. That means you can ask them for introductions, or you can ask them to accompany you to conferences or other networking events. Leveraging the social networks of extroverted friends can be a valuable strategy for you to expand your own networks and navigate networking events more comfortably.
Have a Partner (Introvert or Not)
Even if you don’t have an extroverted friend who can help you network, it’s always a good idea to have a partner, especially at bigger events. Dorie Clark calls this “having a wingman or wing-woman.”
If they can help with introductions, great! If not, there are other benefits such as having a sense of social support, amplifying your networking efforts, and making the overall experience more enjoyable and effective. It’s about leveraging each other’s strengths and networks to create a synergistic approach to networking. Plus, having a supportive companion can boost your confidence, especially in larger or unfamiliar networking settings.
Embrace the Awkwardness
Introvert or not, we have all been ignored or rejected, and have said things we regret. It’s going to be okay.
Normalize the awkwardness and even learn to embrace it. You’ll be more authentic, and you’ll feel less pressure. Awkward moments can also serve as icebreakers because everyone, including extroverts, can relate to feeling uncomfortable in social situations.
Get Involved in the Event
As I mentioned in the introduction, I preferred attending conferences where I would present my research because it meant people would come to me rather than the other way around.
Getting involved in the event, whether by presenting or helping to plan it, gives you something to do and makes it more likely that people will approach you to start conversations. You’re going to be the informed one in the situation, so you’ll have answers. And, you also have your bank of pre-prepared questions to continue the conversation if you feel like this is a connection worth fostering more deeply.
Create Your Own Events
You can also create your own events, be it a dinner, working session, volunteer effort, or even a sports outing. By doing so, you control the environment and the number of people who will be invited. You can also bridge social circles by asking your connections to bring connections of their own.
Follow Up, Always
As you strike up conversations with potential connections, make sure you leave with either plans to meet again or, at least, their contact information. And always, follow up. Send an email that:
- Is concise, focusing on the essential points without being overwhelming.
- Has a subject line that poses a question or gathers their interest, hinting at a beneficial discussion.
- Opens with a brief offer to discuss innovative strategies, capturing attention right away.
- Concludes with a clear call to action, inviting the recipient to lunch or coffee for a deeper conversation.
Conclusion
Networking is challenging for everyone, not just introverts. However, as introverts we need to adjust our networking approach to meet our needs, wants, strengths, and interests.
The previous strategies can help any introvert feel more comfortable networking. But if you’d like to learn more, PathWise.io offers tons of resources, tools, templates, articles, and even courses. You can check them out below!
- Resources & Articles: How to Network for Your Career Journey, Networking
- Tools & Templates: Tools & Templates
- Networking Course: Networking Like a Pro
Sources
Clark, D. (2015). Stand out networking: A simple and authentic way to meet people on your own terms. Portfolio.
Clark, D. (2014, November 5). Networking for Introverts. Harvard Business Review. Retrieved April 5, 2024, from https://hbr.org/2014/08/networking-for-introverts
Ferrazzi, K. (2005). Never Eat Alone: And other secrets to success, one relationship at a time. Crown Business.
Indeed Editorial Team. (2024, March 24). Networking for Introverts: 7 Tips for Making Better Connections (Indeed, Ed.). Indeed.com; Indeed. https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/networking-for-introverts
Stahl, A. (n.d.). Networking For Introverts: 3 Tips To Help You Connect With Confidence. Forbes. Retrieved April 5, 2024, from https://www.forbes.com/sites/ashleystahl/2021/11/12/networking-for-introverts-3-tips-to-help-you-connect-with-confidence/?sh=654514bd2141
